As many of you know, I have a kind of love-love relationship with alcohol. If it weren’t considered an addictive disease, I’d be drinking right now. Because I mean, like, who wouldn’t want to be doing work with a little happy buzz instead of being cold as shit and feeling half asleep? [...]

So, I really haven’t had anything to write about, but I’m really looking forward to kickball tomorrow, so I’m gonna write a damn haiku. I’m so poetic.

My kickball game’s tomorrow
We go balls deep on that ass
Fucking do work, kid.

**Beatnik snaps all around**

Let me clarify that statement. I mean, it was always okay for guys to fuck (right?), but now straight men who may or may not have been homophobes are now okay with stating that they are fucking another man to the general public after Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck made a music video about [...]

Ahh, Saturday. Not only is it my favorite day of the week, but it’s also a prime day for drinking, because you get to sleep in that day in order to be well rested for the events to come. When I got back from the gym on Saturday, feeling uber fit, I got a message [...]