Last night, I felt as if someone had stolen my ball at recess. I felt like the big bully in second grade took my crayons. I felt like…a Redskin. I wanted to be Harry Potter and Hermione so I could go back in time and make everything right. Why Romo, why are you doing this to me? Did someone pay you? I love you, but love isn’t supposed to be so hurtful. TO–why can’t you catch a ball standing up? Are you going to have another “accidental overdose” after this? Because I could completely understand it if you did. I asked “WHY,” many times throughout the game…how could this happen? I thought…I thought…THIS IS NOT DALLAS.

And then…I exhaled. I laughed, I nearly cried and almost threw up. About 20 minutes after the game, I still had my hands clenched in the praying position, slightly shaking. I wasn’t sure who I was thanking, but my goodness, I was forever grateful to them. Of course, who I was thanking besides Nick Folk. And the Bills, for ruining what would have been a redeeming win.

Tony, I’m not sure why you did what you did. I don’t know why you had five interceptions. I only hope it was because you spent the entire week watching video of the Patriots instead of the Bills. Or maybe, you just had gas. How could you let the worst defense in the NFL outplay you? Perhaps, as one of the NFL commentators joked earlier in the evening, Wade Phillips really did forget he was coaching the Cowboys. Either way, I expect more next week.

Otherwise, there’s always the Texans and Will Demps.