Riff Raff…UGH, Really, Dude?!?! REALLY?!?!

11Feb09

So, against my better judgment, I turned on the new season of From G’s To Gents while I was at the gym just now. I immediately regretted it, because this thing showed up on my TV screen:

WHAT IS THAT?! Is that a man or some weird wigga cartoon?!?! Okay, let’s break this down. Things that are wrong with this thing include:

Those icky, gross beads. Why are you wearing them and why are they so damn colorful? Did you just come from a cruise to the Bahamas and went to one of those little flea markets with ladies braiding tourists’ hair? Did the person who did those dreadful things fail to get enough of one color–or get clear or black beads? Seriously, what the EFF is going on? I hate you already.

What is that red and green shit in your hair man?! CHRISTMAS IS OVER. I didn’t know that G’s used Manic Panic. Seriously, I really hate you so much. Are those crunchy or what? I almost bet you $20 that when you get home you’re gonna wash that nasty spray-in color out. What are you trying to do!?!??! The show is From G’s to Gents, not Circus Freaks on Parade.

The grill: I am so tired of grills on this damn show! In fact, I’m tired of them, period. They’re the worst! How come you can afford to get your hair looking like that mess but you can’t afford a proper dentist? UGH.

His eyebrows: Wasn’t it cool to do crazy shit to your eyebrows in like, the 90s?? And this dude is all talking about he’s original. Okay man, just because you look a hot mess it doesn’t make you original. It just makes you a hot mess that happens to resemble a Skittle. Seriously, I promise you. It has to stop.

And this is really the deal breaker: You can’t see it in the picture, but this dude has an effing MTV logo tattoo ON HIS NECK. Did you get that when you found out you were going to be on the show, or were you always that much of an idiot?? The executives at Viacom have to be evil people, because I feel like there is no way this guy should be seen in public, and ESPECIALLY not on TV. It’s just wrong; it’s like exploiting a retarded child. There are some lines that you just don’t cross. You just don’t!

The worst thing is, they didn’t kick this dude off of the show. So…I hate to say it, but I gotta boycott season 2 until this monstrosity is off the show. I can’t decide if I want to throw up or eat Fun Fetti when I look at his ass. And I really don’t want to do either. UGH.

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Tags: MTV, Reality, tv