People like you should be exiled from Earth.

29Jan08

It really takes a lot to piss me off. Sometimes, I get pissed off on the metro. The metro pisses me off. People piss me off. I mean like, really, really piss me off. This morning, I can’t even blame public transportation. I blame YOU. Why, do you ask? Actually, I feel as if I should blame the education system in America, but being that self education is so simple these days, I’m going to lay the blame on the people.

This morning, I missed my metro. “What does missing your metro have to do with people?” you might ask me. Well, I’ll tell you. As I speedwalked to the metro station this morning, I remembered that I had to refill my metro card. Fine, not a big deal…usually it takes a minute–Except when you have an illiterate geisha in front of you in line at the card station. I have two minutes to get up to the platform, and the woman in front of me is staring confusedly at the words on screen that say “Insert and quickly remove card.” She stares at her credit card (which I think was a Discover by the way, icks) and stares back at the screen, raising an eyebrow due to lack of understanding of the English language. Meanwhile, I am staring at the back of her head, silently wishing ill will on this woman as I look at the screen that tells me that I now have one minute to make it to my metro. The woman presses “cancel” at the machine, but instead of walking away as I had hoped for, she STARTS OVER, repeatedly staring back and forth like Forrest Gump once again.

Now, if this were a perfect world, I would have been like, “Yo, Yoko, don’t you think you’ve had enough? Maybe it’s time for a cab. I mean, if I couldn’t read, I’d probably take cabs everywhere. It’s easier that way, for everyone. Move b*tch, get out the way, LUDA! Disturbin’ the peace! Holla.” Alas, it is not a perfect world, so I could just mutter, “F*ck…” under my breath as I hear my metro pull away from the platform. Why didn’t I help her, you ask? Um, I dunno…because when you’re 50 and you decide to move to a new effing country, maybe it would be a good idea to learn how to speak and read the language?! I absolutely refuse to assist the ignorant in their endeavors. Yes, I might have missed the metro, but I would have missed it anyway even if I had helped the old coot. I think a whole bunch of Americans should just like, invade Mexico or Japan, run around like idiots because we can’t understand anything, and then get upset because all the signs and important stuff aren’t written in English and claim it’s discrimination or some shit. OR BETTER YET, why don’t we just stay in our own effing country. What an idea.

Filed under: Do not Like   |  2 Comments