Let’s Talk About the Paris Hilton CD…

17Aug06

Okay. So the dreaded day is looming over us…this upcoming Tuesday, August 22nd, Paris Hilton will officially join the music industry, releasing her first full album. *Deep breath…* I’m not really sure how I feel about this. Sure, I have her song on my profile (I mean it’s a pretty darn funny song) and am actually amused by her songs, but…am I okay with her joining the likes of Mariah, Xtina, Britney (I mean, come on, she was hot until K-Fed put it in her butt…and let’s not forget the ‘I’m a Slave for You’ video…hot! I’ll still rock that dance, bitches, YES.), and pre-Bobby Whitney? NO FREAKING WAY. Oh, but when I learned the news of her release, I was like, “Well crap, no one is going to buy this cd, maybe I’ll buy it to be funny…” Apparently, 50,000 other people had the same freakin’ idea, or they just smoke crack. I went to amazon.com, and am amazed and very disturbed that Paris Hilton’s cd is ranked at #99. Number freakin’ ninety-nine, people. Do you know what this means!??! This means that out of EVERY SINGLE CD sold on amazon.com, which, by the way, is like a friggin’ billion or some crazy number like that, people are snatching up Paris Hilton’s cd like fat kids snatch up Toaster Strudel. PARIS HILTON. This is beyond me, people. And shoot, she doesn’t need my support now! Not that I was going to support her, but ya know, why spit on a drowning person? If she makes the Billboard list, I might have to throw a rally or something. And Paris, if you’re out there girl, I love ya, but I think you know better. What’s up? Why are you doing this to the American people? You already got in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the most pointless celebrity ever…come on, girl, yoke that shit up! Ham it for the razzi, they love you baby! Why do you have to like, ya know, try to be…useful? *Sigh* Oh well, at least Kitson will get a kick out of this (for those of you who are totally fashionably challenged, Kitson is an ultrahip boutique in LA where the celebs buy those shirts that say really stupid shit…shout out Kitson!!). On a much much more beautiful note, my homie g dawg Justin Timberlake is currently ranking #12 for his upcoming release on amazon.com. Go ‘head, baby. Atta boy. Oh, and Xtina is #1. That girl can “sang..” Love her. I might have to invest in that one. Xtina and Timberlake added to my collection, let the good times roll.

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